Things that Suck in Your 20s ♥

Wednesday, 16 August 2017

Being 20 something years of age, is supposed to be the best years of your life: you're supposedly young, free and able to get away with making more mistakes because you've still got so many years left to experience. It's supposed to be the years of being selfish, free, travelling, finding yourself and just living your life like theres no tomorrow. I often hear people say 'Oh the 20s are the best years of your life, make the most of it' or 'I wish I was in my 20s again, you're free, you have no responsibilities' which got me thinking...what is it that's so special about your 20s? Why do people say it's the best years of your life? Don't get me wrong, being youthful is obviously lovely and maybe I will look back on my 20s as the best years of my life when I'm 90, but there are some downfalls to being in your 20s too, so today I thought I'd share the struggles of being a 20 something year old, as honestly sometimes you just cannot win and it can be really hard.

Comparing yourself to other people your age - this is probably one of the worst things about being 20 something. Luckily, I hardly talk to anybody I went to school or college with, but I can imagine if you have Facebook and have constant life updates about what other people your age are up to, it could get you down, making you feel like you're not good enough. So what if they've passed their driving test the 1st time, and you're on your 8th try, so what if they're expecting a little one... it's not a race. Trust the timing of your life. You're doing just fine. ♥

People thinking you should have your career path figured out - it's one of the main topics of conversation when you speak to distant relatives at family functions 'Oh so what are you planning to do next? What career moves are you making right now?' Sorry Brenda, the last time I saw you I was 5, since when did you take such an interest in my life? Honestly, I've spoken to people in their 30's and 40's who still haven't got their career figured out, or know what they want to do with their life. That's totally normal and okay, there is no rush, and you don't have to settle on a definite answer as to what you want to do career wise.

People expecting you to go to university - It's often drilled into you from a young age, that to earn a good salary, and to be stable and successful, you MUST go to university. Let's be real here, you don't have to do anything that won't better your life or you as a person. In my opinion, if something is going to make you miserable and you're only doing it to please other people, what's the point, why put yourself through that? I have plenty of friends that chose not to go to uni and I'm so proud of them for doing what is best for them and not living up to the expectations of society, they earn a good salary, they're stable, they're in jobs they love. Most importantly they're happy! I think uni is a great idea and opens up so many opportunties if you know where you're going, and what you want to do in your life. But it doesn't make somebody a better person because they've gone to uni...nor does it make you happier.

The race of who gets engaged, married, buys their first house, learns to drive, buys a dog or has a baby - it can often feel this way, especially if you have that one 'friend' that always seems to be in some weird competition with you to get there first. These milestones are NOT a competition, nor are they a race. Embrace being young and carefree while you can, you have plenty of time to get engaged, married, buy your own house and have a baby. It doesn't make you any less worthy if you wait and enjoy being young!

Saving money - urgh. Money!! The joys of being a 20 something year old that wants all the pretty clothes and make up,  but also has to eat and save for a new car, deposit on a house, that holiday you desperately want to go on with the girls. There is so much temptation when you're 20 something. You're told to go out, live your life, be free and enjoy yourself, but on the other hand you're called irresponsible for going travelling, not saving a deposit for your first home, and spending your money on what you want, when you want. You really cannot win as a 20 something year old. People will complain no matter what you do, just do what makes you happy - people will judge you anyway, but their opinion is irrelevant!

Adulting - as a child all you ever want to do is grow up, you can't wait for when you can drive, you can't wait until you can go out independently with your friends, buy your own home, go to university, live alone, etc, etc. All our lives we've wanted to grow up, but given the first opportunity to spread our wings and do adult stuff like picking a carpet for a new home, or paying the bills & you find actually this adulting thing is not all that it's cracked up to be. Early mornings & going to work at the crack of dawn isn't all that fun after all. Don't get me wrong, there are definitely perks to being an adult, like eating ice cream and going to bed whenever you like, and spending your money on whatever you like...but it's pretty hard too.

Cooking, cleaning & paying the bills - this falls quite nicely under the adulting I mentioned above. Being independent is all well and good until you have to cook for yourself, clean up after yourself and pay your bills, especially when all you want to do is go and a have a laugh with your friends!

Finding yourself... - Apparently your 20s are all about finding yourself, and learning about who you are. You learn a lot about yourself as you grow up, and having a good relationship with yourself sets the tone for all other relationships to come. But this whole magical process of finding yourself, and learning who you are doesn't come easy at all, and it takes a lot of life lessons to get there. Don't feel too pressured to find yourself too quickly.

Accepting who you are... these days it's really hard to love yourself and accept your flaws, and who you truly are. With just one click of a button, we're scrolling through Instagram looking at these perfect girls, who are beautiful, with amazing bodies, they run their lives like actual Girl Bosses, and seem to live the most amazing, perfect life. It's really hard not to compare your life to others, particularly people on social media who seem to have it all, curves in all the right places and amazingly toned abs included. Believe me, the journey to accepting who you are is a long one, it's for sure a battle and one of the hardest things you'll do as woman in your 20s. Believe in the process though, and don't beat yourself up about it. You're amazing just the way you are, and definitely not less worthy because you like your food, and indulge in way too many cocktails and Dominos pizzas.

Love...  We're told to love, but not too hard. Don't jump into relationships, and be with someone who isn't worthy of your time or attention just to fill an empty space in your life. Don't live up to the expectations of society and just fall in love, and settle. You deserve the best, we're told. Once we find someone we're happy with, we're told if it's not like the movies, that's how it needs to be. My best advice here is to scrap all expectations and opinions on love in your 20s and just go with your heart, love hard, love deeply, let yourself get your heartbroken, don't build your walls too high, let people in. Don't let men walk all over you though, have respect for yourself. Experience the crazy rollercoaster that is love, in all it's glory, and when you find 'the one' it will just feel right. Every harsh, heartbreaking or bad experience adds to the journey. Don't take love too seriously. What will be, will be.

Losing friends - When you're young you think you've got to be popular, and have the biggest group of friends, who you go out with, go shopping, have sleepovers with and do fun things with. But in your 20s, you realise that's not what friendship is about at all. In my opinion we go through friendship phases as we go into our 20s. Theres your school friends, college friends, girls you go clubbing with, friends you meet through work, etc, etc. There are so many people you call your 'friends' when you're young, even if they're pretty toxic people, when you're young, you think it's good to have a lot of people around you, despite how they treat you.

It's pretty upsetting when you get to the point in your 20s where you realise that some friendships just aren't meant to be and that not everybody has your best interests at heart. We grow up, and people change. Some friends only want you when your life is going well, or they thrive on when you're down. Or they only text when they want something. Or you only text them when YOU want something. You only ever go clubbing together, you don't have meaningful chats, or they're not there for you when you need them. At times it's hard and pretty lonely when you feel as though you're losing people in your life, that you thought would always be in it. But again, it's all part of the journey, some people just aren't supposed to be your friend, they're there to teach you what you really want in a friend, or don't want. They're there to show you what friendship really means. There's so much more to friendship than sleepovers and shopping, and sometimes you have to learn that the hard way in your 20s.

The Quarter Life Crisis - yep, this really does exist. It happens to the best of us. You're sat there one day in your 20s, you've taken a big fall and shit has really hit the fan, and all of a sudden you ask yourself 'Is this really want I want to do with my life?' You suddenly panic, thinking, you're in the wrong job, you wanted kids by now, you wanted to be living with your significant other, things didn't work out with your ex, he's an idiot but maybe we should give it one more go. Trust the timing of your life. It will honestly all work out in the end.

The 20s are the most important decade of your life: they're for loving a lot, a little, learning heaps, experiencing, being selfish, the best and worst part is every decision you make can change the rest of your life. Nothing will ruin your 20s more than thinking you should have your life together already, and feeling like you have to live up to the expectations of your family, friends, and society. Your journey is yours for a reason, do what makes you happy & forget about everybody else. Your 20s are special. Maybe we should all just embrace the downfalls of being 20, accept them for what they are and make the most of being 20 something while we can. It can be really hard, learning some harsh life lessons in your 20s and feeling as though you're all grown up, making pretty hard decisions on your own, but enjoy the journey. It will all be worth it in the end. You're never going to be as young as you are now. 

What do you think is the best and worst thing about being 20 something?

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